Today, in the United States, is Election Day. In honor of democracy, I will be giving equal coverage to all three of our overlord candidates and we will vote for who we want to rule us.
Namor the Submariner
Namor is currently serving as the King of Atlantis, where he has ruled for over sixty years. At various points, his rule has been threatened by ambitious underlings. Namor was a war hero, fighting alongside Captain America in the Invaders. During the 60’s, Namor’s platform shifted from defeating Nazis to conquering the overworld and returning Atlantis to its former glory. In recent years, he has toed the line between hero and villain, and sided against Superhero Registration in the Civil War. If elected, he plans to install the world’s largest swimming pool over North America.
Odin the All-Father
Odin has ruled the 9 realms for centuries. He was a war hero, losing one of his eyes in a battle with the ice giants. He has peacefully ruled the realms, despite threats from dark elves and ice giants. Despite his adoption scandal, Odin has remained on the throne. For about a decade, Odin was thought to be dead after a battle with the fire demon Surtur. Unfortunately, recently (and possibly in the future) Odin has seen the destruction of his kingdom in Ragnarok. If reelected, Odin plans to adopt every supervillain on Earth and tell them all that they were destined to rule, in hopes of converting them to the “good” side.
Kang the Conqueror
Kang is literally the way of the future. He has ruled the future and has never been content with it. He seeks to rule all areas of time, which evidently means attempting to win this era by democracy in this election. He has been described as “power-hungry” and “completely insane” by members of the Avengers, who have fought against Kang multiple times. Meanwhile, his great-great-great-great-etc.-grandfather, Victor Van Doom has described his heir as the second greatest ruler of all time, second only to himself, of course. If elected, Kang plans to use the resources of this time to take over the dinosaurs, thereby completing his ruling of all time.
Now that you have heard the platforms of our candidates, let the polls open. Who do you want in charge of us? Let the voting begin!